An Old English Sheepdog Is Not For Everybody

By: D.R. Segal

Some things are, as they say, not for everybody. One of those things is an Old English Sheepdog, for reasons I will explain. An Old English Sheepdog requires more attention than any other animal on Earth with the possible exception of a thoroughbred horse. If an Old English Sheepdog does not get the kind of attention he requires, he turns into something that resembles a split bale of cotton. When this occurs, you run for the sheep shears and say your beads. An Old English Sheepdog is not for everybody.

People ask how many minutes per day are required to keep an Old English Sheepdog in respectable repair. The answer is ” all of them.” An unkept Old English Sheepdog is a stinking, miserable slob. An Old English Sheepdog is not for everybody. Most of what they eat winds up in their whiskers. They like to step in their water bowl. If they are not trimmed they can’t see through the hair on their faces. They bump into things and will chew on anything except dog food. Old English Sheepdogs are not for everybody.

Old English Sheepdogs have no tails. Either they are born without them or they are docked at an early age. A dog which has no tail cannot signal his emotions. With nothing to wiggle back there you don’t know if your Old English Sheepdog is happy or in a murderous mood. An Old English Sheepdog’s entire tush wags when he walks in what is said to be a bear-like gait, An Old English Sheepdog is not for everybody.

An Old English Sheepdog seems to inflame other and lesser dogs simply by showing up. Teacup poodles and Itzy-Bitzy Mama’s Darlings always yap their lungs out when they see an Old English Sheepdog. An Old English Sheepdog doesn’t know quite what these small annoyances are and whether to eat one or not. Usually they sniff around and leave. Old English Sheepdogs are not for everybody.

Old English Sheepdogs love people. They will lick a small child like the kid licks a lollipop-until there is nothing let. They drink as much as a small horse and their kiss is like taking a bath. Old English Sheepdogs are not for everybody.

Any Old English Sheepdog I have ever seen would not know what to make of a sheep if he were to meet up with one. Very likely he would lick it and trip over an imaginary hole in the ground. They do, however, like to herd. What they like to herd is people and they have a sneaky way of herding people into little groups without them realizing it. If you don’t move lively they will lick you in the ear.

Old English Sheepdogs are not for everybody; but if you have one and survived him, you get a warm glow of satisfaction. You know you have accomplished something-survival-and it does a service to your self-esteem.